February 28, 2010

Milestones

End of February already, 40 degrees this afternoon and I am sweating profusifely. By the time I have finished this text I expect my sofa to be soaked in sweat. I might lick the seat to salvage some of the salt.
That we reached the end of another month also means I have officially broken a couple of funny records. Amongst them: the longest time I have been away from home and the longest period of uninterrupted sunny days I was able to enjoy. That last one makes most South Africans laugh with disbelief.
But this milestone is not one that just marks good events. I think it also heralds the most difficult period in the living abroad cycle (just to give it a name). That is based on what I have heard of and seen happening to a lot of expats. The first 3-4 months everything is new and exciting. You spend a lot of time finding stuff out, sorting out paperwork and practicalities. And all that takes up a lot of time and effort. Tiring and sometimes frustrating, yes, but it gives you something to do. Now that most of those things are sorted out, you are left with even more time on your hands but still not enough things to do to fill it up naturally. That might sound a bit hard to believe, especially if you are in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, with good weather and ample outdoor activities to do, but it is true. Because no matter what you do, you end up doing it on your own with a couple of nice strangers for company at best. So once you lose your personal drive to go out and explore, there is a real danger of just sitting on your ass. Next to that there are hardly any social events like birthday parties or family visits to attend, no old friends you can give a call to go and do something. So you end up spending a lot of time on your own. Fortunately I am reasonably good at being on my own, but I like to have a busy agenda and meeting a lot of people too.
I am not announcing my first depression, if that is what you think. I was merely sharing the idea that I think the toughest part is yet to come.

Now to create some more happy vibes, some random positive news: I bought a nice big dining table, I bought a powerful laptop, I am now a PADI certified scuba diver, I do not have HIV, I got a haircut, ... And because I now have a good laptop, I am able to upload some more pictures. It takes ridiculously long though (2h45 min so far for 50 photos), so please please enjoy the pictures a lot !

Yesterday, when I went to bed I was not alone in my room. Much to my surprise a brown African bird awaited me there. Usually I don’t mind a goodlooking bird in my bedroom, but this one actually had wings and a beak. It was a pigeon that flew through the open window and decided to sleep there. As you can see on the picture it must have been there for some time. I caught the creature and then
A) broke its neck for shitting on my shoes and threw it out of the window
B) tied a rope around it’s leg and flew it like a kite
C) clipped its wings and stuffed it’s cloaca so it wouldn’t shit anymore and kept it as a pet
D) all of the above



the answer was C)

African wildlife in my own room, how cool is that?
A thought I ll keep in mind when cleaning up it's ehm legacy.
I uploaded some pictures on the area I live in, and on a wine tasting trip I did. to see the pictures, click on the link (picture) at the bottom of this page.

All the best,
W.

February 11, 2010

The answers


All right, I think I left two questions outstanding, correct? The first one being, what was I doing in that stadium? The other one Why was I studying and taking an exam? You got to forgive me for keeping (at least some of) you in agony, but I thoroughly enjoy this little bit of power I have over you from 10 000 km distance.

So on with the answers.

To the first one the answer is plain and simple: I attended the opening of the brand new stadium in Green Point, Cape Town. You must have seen pictures of it already for it is the most picturesquely located stadium they build for the coming World Cup. The stadium is a stone throw away from the ocean, it has a view on Table Mountain from within the stadium and there is a golf course lying right next to it.
The observant and loyal readers must have remarked that it is also located in the suburb where I live. Indeed it takes me about 15 minutes on foot from my front door to the entrance of the brand new stadium. And I intend to do that several times as I have tickets to all 7 world cup games which will be held here in Cape Town. Let me emphasize: I will be attending all World Cup games held in the Green Point stadium. That includes one 16th final, one quarter final and one semi final, and I will only have to walk there 15 minutes. Now throw in the fact that I am not a football fan, and you must have an inkling of how jealous I am making my football loving friends at this moment.

Especially to those readers, I will sing: neh neh neneeh neeh, neh neh neneeh neh.(again, referring to the last sentence of my first paragraph)

So there I was at the opening of the Green Point stadium, attending the first ever football game

held there. You know about the vuvuzelas so I won’t touch upon that again. Now try to imagine what kind of an event it would be if they open a new stadium in your home town. There would be some hustle and bustle, right? I am talking about brass bands, live performances, fire works, movie clips on the construction of the stadium, cheerleaders, sponsors left and right handing out free goodies, maybe even marines descending from the roof or fighter jets flying over in formation? None of that!! There was nothing! Ok, there was a band performing three songs and the dressed up a handful of girls like cheerleaders. And I saw two doll like figures bobbing around at the other side of the pitch, advertising something. But that was basically it. When the game started they counted down from 10 to 0, you know, for the official kick off of the first game ever! When they reached 0 they ball wasn’t even in the middle of the circle because the home team was still passing it around.

As feeble as the festivities were, so bad was the game. It was a premier league game, mind you.But the first real attempt came in the 88th minute when a header accidentally ended up somewhere near the goal posts. The rest of the game was just an eyesore. Shame.

But I don’t wish to say negative things only. It is just easy to comment on what is bad, or what is lacking. I have to say the stadium itself is really beautiful to see. It is a very light structure and it allows you to reach the stands really easily. No crawling through dark catacombs, once you are in you walk right up to where you have to be. And there are plenty of stores to buy food or a beer.Very nice indeed.

Now on to the second question. What did I study, and what the flip was that exam about? I don’t think any one has guessed it. Although I must say that from the guesses you ventured, I got the impression I need to work on my image. No one said “lion tamer” or “snake expert” or any other cool and macho thing. One very good guess was “world cup host”. I might still want to try that.Escorting people to all 7 games in Cape Town, since I am attending them already. I told you that right? And about the finals?

I was studying and taking and exam to get my scuba diving certificate. That’s right. I am close to attaining my certificate for open water dives down to 18 metres. You have to take that stuff serious because if you mess up badly, you might end up killed. Yes sir, you can drown in 10cm of water. So if you go down to 18 metres you risk your life like 1800 cm/ 10cm = 180 times. And since I only have 1 life, that is quite significant I’d say. So that is why they make you take an exam. You have to study a book of roughly 540 pages. So with every 3 pages you learn, you eliminate 1 time you risk your life (on average).

On a serious note, the theory was quite extensive for a leisure activity, but it wasn’t that bad of course. I’m still proud to say I scored 49,5 / 50 #big smile.

(and now all you evil people are wondering what that one question was I got wrong).

I had the first dives as well. In a pool. To get to know how everything works, how to breathe, how to take off your goggles and put them back on, how to take off your tanks at put them

back on again, all that sort of stuff. Really cool, but not as cool as the first ocean dive I did.

We went down to 6 metres to a little ship wreck lying there. Nothing too dramatic but I loved it! The plants, the fish, the starfish, the little octopus we saw. I thought it was incredible. It was also a lot more difficult then I thought. I was so tired after those two hours of diving, I had to take a nap before I could go and watch the 6 nations games (rugby).

I am certain I will do this a couple of times more often. I am already dreaming of diving to real ship wrecks. There are plenty of those along the coast and they organize dives to them.

Watch this space!


February 04, 2010

Hell's horns

I know I am not in the forest, and yet… there it is again. That distinct mating call. Like an moose on heat. Or a camel, but then without the bubbling sound to it. A sound that rasps your ear drum and penetrates your brain with the sole aim to annoy you into oblivion. But I am in a stadium, so it can’t really come from an animal, can it? Close, it comes from football supporters blowing on their vuvuzelas.

Before I tell you in which stadium I was and what I did there, allow me to elaborate on the nuisance called a vuvuzela.

A vuvuzela is a simplistic derivative of the well known horn. Other than it’s brother the horn, who is an established member of the classical instruments, a vuvuzela is not capable of producing any musical sound. If there had ever been attempts of including a vuvuzela in a philharmonic – or any other type of- orchestra, I am sure the player of that “instrument” got immediately banned out of the music loving society on the ground of being downright too annoying and unfit to produce a single correct note. But somehow this outcast of the world of real music instruments managed to survive. It aptly found its target audience in dumb witted football supporters and children who just love to make irritating noise on the account of being children and not knowing any better.

For sure you have at least once in your life picked up a traffic cone, put the tip to your mouth and then tried to make a trumpet (like) sound. Imagine the cone being much thinner and around a meter long with the tip nice and round, welcoming your wet lips to simply touch that cheap plastic. That would be your vuvuzela right there. Not less, and definitely not more.

Unfortunately this thing is considered harmless and is thus not prohibited in the stadiums. It is not welcomed either, by me in any case, but it is allowed in. And hundreds of people drag one along.

The vuvuzela and all its shortcomings is one thing. The use of it is an other issue worth spending a couple of words on.

Since this thing is used by football supporters and children, you can expect there isn’t really a vuvuzela etiquette. No unwritten rules govern the use of it, like you would have for breaking wind or belching. Try to grasp the far reaching consequences. You can walk around, chatting a bit, minding your own business, being harmless, while some vile passer by aims a vuvuzela straight at you and blows it out of all his might. You’ll scare the heck out of yourself.
Or you are standing in line for a nice cold beer, surrounded by vuvuzelas and their owners. The thought of them being able to blow their horns at any moment will take away your craving for a nice glass of cold, gold coloured tasty fluid. Cursed be them who take away beer cravings !

At very, very rare occasions, the vuvuzela handlers blow their horns at the same time. It is more a coincidence than a preconceived plan. But when it happens, it sounds almost nice. There is a hint of a feeling of togetherness in it. And it shows that a bunch of those things together might actually sound nice. Much to my regret, this potential remains untapped. There are no songs, no rhythms, no hymns, no nothing that those vuvuzela people do together. They just randomly make the irritating noise. It is not linked to what is going on on the pitch, it is not aimed at each other and it is certainly not to entertain the surrounding people. So why do they use it? Your guess is probably better than mine. I have no flipping idea.

Some argue it is folklore and that you should respect it for that reason. I think that holds no water. There are herdsmen in the mountains of Iceland who castrate their sheep by biting off their balls with their teeth (not the sheep’s teeth, fool. And no, they don’t castrate sheep by biting off their own balls, they bite off the ram’s balls, capice?). I am sure that is folklore too, but regretfully I don’t really feel much respect for them. You have knives to do what they do, or even forks if need be, just like you have proper instruments to make sounds that represent the beauty, power and skill of the team you support. Cheering on your team with a vuvuzela seems like wishing them the worst leg cramps imaginable. Hardly the desired effect I’d say.

What should have been an introduction to a very juicy story became a lengthy bit of ventilating frustrations. And now I have to go to sleep because it is getting late. And I didn’t get a chance to tell what I was doing in that stadium! Do you think it has something to do with the lessons and the exam I mentioned last time?

I will let you know in due time.

Night night.